Southwest Beef and Black Beans Mre Diaper Disaster
AKA: the Southward-of-the-Boarder Diaper Disaster
Elusive. Mysterious. Desired. The Southwest Beef and Blackness Beans MRE was the last ane I was able to find on my quest to eat them all.
I decide to start with the Kippered Beef. The Kippered beef Shares the rare distinction with the "Toaster Pastry, Brown Sugar" equally beingness the only particular and then governed by the imperative for freshness that it is wrapped twice in packaging. A wrapper inception.
I am unsure what kippering does to beef, just am pleased with the result. My teeth sink into the meat with a satisfying ease, slicing through the sinewy flesh similar a shovel in dirt soil. In dissimilarity to unkippered jerky products, the muscle fibers disintegrate quickly in my oral fissure yielding a texture closer to that of a Slim Jim.
Its taste is rich in a pleasant umami rather uncommon in MRE products. Its saltiness washes over the tongue in an excellent compliment finishing with simply a waft of spiciness from cracked black pepper.
At lxxx calories, it is a must-eat.
Cheese Spreadwith Japalenos - Swallow if hungry
Betraying my instincts non to eat it and so early in the meal, I plow to the rich lipids of the jalapeño cheese spread, second only among the cheese spreads to the bacon cheese spread in sense of taste and rarity.
I head the packaging's warning to kneed earlier eating, wondering which of the ingredients' instability requires the brief massage. Is information technology the pyridoxine hydroclorate? Or perhaps the thianine hydroclorate? There are indeed many possibilities.
The fats hit my tongue in a soothing lotion, kicked almost immediately past the heat of the infused jalapeños. The fire begins on the periphery of the tongue and immediately encircles the meridian of the esophagus. I hope it does non forebode similar unpleasant heat around a different orifice in a few hours.
Southwest Beans and Beef - Eat
Though it is vague in naming the inspirational geographic origin of the dish, the presence of corn and beans go far unmistakable: Santa Fe. Peering into the packaging, I'm astonished past what appears to exist the grill marks kissed every then slightly on the delicately sliced beef inside. I make up one's mind it must be my imagination.
The beans, corn, and diminished cherry-red peppers were likely intended to add together some variety in texture to the medley. Unfortunately for the Sopako Company of Mullins, South Carolina, each dissolves near immediately under the teeth, giving it the unexpected and disconcerting mouthfeel of soup.
Remembering the tortillas, I assemble a burrito with the beef and cheese spread. The sugary sweet of the tortilla smothers the gustatory modality of the cheese, once more proving that 1 +one is non always 2. While the tortilla exoskeleton adds some much-needed compactness to the entree, information technology cannot make up for the absence of the customary shredded iceberg lettuce and mesomorphic salsa and suffers by comparison.
Mocha CappuccinoInstant Pulverisation - Eat if hungry
I tear off the summit of the Mocha Cappuccino, squirt in the requisite amount of water, seal up the Ziploc, and shake. The satisfying velvet quality of the chocolate is punctuated by rogue granules of saccharide making for a more interesting eat. The topping of cream elevates the experience and helps it live upward to its "cappuccino" name. It's a small luxury.
Apples in Spiced Sauce - Eat
The alone delegate from the fruits cake of the food pyramid begins the kickoff human action of my two-human activity dessert. Information technology does not disappoint. The apples are cut in long sumptuous slices that, while non crisp, accept an impressive compactness given the time information technology has spent wallowing in syrup since its manufacture date. They evoke grandma's kitchen – a pie with everything but the gram cracker crust. But they besides live up to the "spiced sauce" proper noun offering at times a challenging dose of cinnamon and nutmeg that volition keep the diner guessing. Grandma has a wild streak.
As I switch to the next food particular, the apples' aftertaste becomes more prominent, eventually taking on an uncanny resemblance to Dial brand paw soap.
Chocolate Banana Muffin Top - Never swallow
The Sopak visitor deserves credit both for recognizing that the muffin elevation is the only part of the muffin worth eating and for elevating, via clever marketing, a hulk of dough in a plastic envelops to the status of "muffin".
The muffin top has the texture of a warm towel with an infused banana flavor that comes beyond as fake as a toupee with a chinstrap. As I reach into the pouch to chivy off pieces, the muffin disintegrate into a fine pulverization as if I were rough treatment a sandcastles. Somewhen, I probably could take added water to brand a choco-assistant cappuccino, but I determine confronting it.
Southwest Beef and Black Beans
Source: http://mregourmet.blogspot.com/2014/07/menu-24-southwest-beef-and-black-beans.html
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